######################################################## Simply Speaking...Selling Yourself & Your Ideas E-Zine Volume 4, No 3, October, 2001 Published by Lenny Laskowski Copyright LJL Seminars(tm), 2001 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ LJL Seminars (tm) 106 School House Road Newington, CT. 06111-4002 United States Of America (860) 666-4855 or Toll Free 1-800-606-4855 Fax: (305) 489-6481 Web page: ######################################################## Simply Speaking E-Zine Subscription links Sending mail to these addresses will automatically add or remove the sender's e-mail address from your list(s): Subscribe Address: Unsubscribe Address: You may also send subscription requests to: and we will help you. ######################################################## In the coming issues, I will be providing public speaking tips from my new book: "10 Days to More Confident Public Speaking" (Warner Books) as well as tips from other respected professional speakers and industry experts ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ In this issue: 1. Speaking Anxiety: The Doctor Is In 2. Our NEW Simply Speaking Discussion Board 3. How to subscribe / unsubscribe ######################################################## 1. Speaking Anxiety: The Doctor is In (Part I) from, "10 Days to More Confident Public Speaking" (Chapter 1 - pages 10 - 15) Copyright, 2001 Philip Lief Group Inc & Lenny Laskowski -------------------------------------------------------- The problem most people face when they speak is more formal settings is keeping their focus on being conversational rather than worrying about what the audience is thinking about them. In every one of my seminars I ask participants to list the reasons they attend my program. The top vote - to quell their speaking fears. Here are the seven "symptoms" of fear expressed over and over again. Any of these sound familiar? * Sweaty palms * Nausea * Accelerated heart rate * Shortness of breath * Chest pains * Tingling or numbness * Anxiety or uneasiness Most people with speech anxiety experience one or more of these symptoms. Think about a time when you experienced similar feelings. Have you ever had to make a cold call to someone? Ask someone out on a date for the first time? Explain to your boss why you think you deserve a raise? These are all situations where you may become anxious and experience some of the symptoms discussed. Everyone, even veteran speakers, experience some anxiety when speaking in front of a group of people. Let's look at where some of these fears originate. First Things First - Calming Your Anxiety During my many years as a speaker, I have witnessed every kind of speech anxiety symptom. In my seminars I always present a section on techniques for dealing with these fears. Learning to overcome these feelings is critical to becoming a more confident, successful speaker. The best way to deal with speaking anxiety is to first acknowledge that this fear is perfectly normal and you are not alone. Most studies suggest fear of public speaking is associated with a stressful childhood or early school year experience speaking in front of others. My fears were limited to being beaten up by the school bully. Most people remember a specific moment in their life when they first experienced this anxiety. It may have been during one of those "show and tell" moments in school when the entire class, especially that girl or boy you had a crush on, laughed at you. We have a tendency to forget why they laughed and just remember that they did! Most people develop speaking phobias while in the middle school. This is the time when a well-meaning teacher asked you to speak in front of your class or asked you to say something in a social setting. Yet think about it. Adolescence is one of the most difficult periods in life. As a middle school student, you were going through tremendous social, emotional, and physical changes and were very sensitive to what other people thought of you, especially your fellow classmates. Unfortunately, many people carry these turbulent feelings into adulthood; thus experiences, good or bad, are etched in your mind forever. You see, it is the fear of failure that you find yourself dealing with at one time of your life. I remember back in middle school when my best friend, Jerry, was going to talk to the entire sixth-grade class about what it is like to play drums. Jerry had made special arrangements to get into the school early so he could set up his drum set. He set up his drums quickly and was ready. When he rushed to his first-period class, he did not see his drum set. He thought someone had played a trick on him and moved it. Jerry was so nervous when he got to school, he had set up his drum set in a similar classroom on the third floor. The problem was, our classroom was on the second floor. He forgot to check the room he was really in. Needless to say, Jerry learned a good lesson. Half of a speaker's or performer's success is just showing up in the right place at the right time. Hopefully something like this has never happened to you. Many people today work in front of the public, such as singers, actors, and politicians, still experience, to varying degrees, these same fears. Some people call speech anxiety "stage fright." I like to think of it as "speech excitement." How you deal with it starts with what you call it. Speech excitement means positive energy. When I survey the participants of my seminars and probe further, I find similar stories to Jerry's. You'd think I was a doctor asking their symptoms so I can prescribe the "magic pill" to help them. Relaxation Techniques Let's assume that you had about ten minutes before you were scheduled to give a presentation. What can you do to help yourself to relax? Deep Breathing One of the best exercises you can do before you speak is to practice some deep breathing techniques for about five to ten minutes. Her's how it's done: 1. Sit relaxed in your chair with your back straight and your hands dangling at your sides. 2. Let the blood flow to your fingertips and slowly inhale and exhale, taking deep breaths as you let your body relax. You can even close your eyes if you want. 3. As you breathe in, hold your breath for about three to four seconds and exhale slowly. 4. Repeat this slowly for about five minutes. Deep breathing allows your body to take in more oxygen, which in turn acts like a natural drug to relax your muscles by forcing your body to release endorphins - chemicals in your body that act as a stimulant. This simple exercise is used by many speakers, performers, and athletes. Practice doing these exercises until you learn the proper rate and extent of deep breathing you need to relax you. Be careful not to breathe too deep, too fast, or you may find yourself getting dizzy. You do not want to hyperventilate. Visualization Another great technique, which you can use is conjunction with deep breathing, is "visualization." This is a simple process. 1. Close your eyes and imagine, or "visualize", yourself speaking. 2. Picture yourself speaking in a aloud, clear, and assured voice, and imagine that the audience is fascinated by what you're saying. Studies have shown that if you visualize yourself giving a successful presentation, you will be successful. Professional and Olympic skiers use visualization, too. Before they actually head down the slope, they visualize in their minds where the gates and turns are and virtually practice the course in their mind. As a professional speaker, I use visualization all the time, visualizing and "navigating" the "course" of a speech before starting. I first visualize myself walking up to the stage as I am introduced and the audience applauding as I make my way to the podium. It is not usual for me to arrive early to physically practice walking on stage so later my visualization process is more realistic. Some experts even suggest imagining your audience sitting nude. I don't know about you, but if I tried this with some of my previous audiences, I might get very distracted. The most important part of the visualization process is to think positive. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ In next month's issue I will talk more about positive self-talk and also provide some specific physical and mental techniques you can use to help you handle your nervousness. Until next month... ######################################################## 2. Our NEW Simply Speaking Discussion Board !!! ######################################################## By popular request, I have added an on-line discussion board where you can participate and ask me or any of the other participants questions related to presentation skills, speaking, communication skills & related topics. You do this by "posting" your questions on discussion board and I or someone else will provide a response. Feel free to visit often and be one of the first 10 people to participate and receive a FREE copy of my new book, "10 Days to More Confident Public Speaking" (published by Warner Books) Below is the direct link to our new discussion board. ######################################################## 3. How to subscribe / unsubscribe ######################################################## To subscribe to Simply Speaking visit http://www.ljlseminars.com or use the following links below: Subscribe Address: Unsubscribe Address: You may also send subscription requests to: and we will help you. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ LJL Seminars (tm) 106 School House Road Newington, CT. 06111-4002 1-860-606-4855 In Continental US call Toll Free: 1-800-606-4855 Until next issue! - Lenny Laskowski :-)